Ever since the surgery was finalized for today, I have been having nerve wrecking thoughts. Every time I try to think/talk or even now, when I'm writing about it, I feel nothing. Then out of nowhere, it'll sneak up on me. It will hit me over and over again like a sudden jolt of electricity coercing though my veins. That and the stupid muscle spasms I've been getting. They make me realize how real and final this is. I'm going to have a screw in me. Try saying that out loud. See how ridiculous it sounds? You probably won't be able to relate. Unless you've been screwed yourself. I have heard so many people talk about this and I could never imaging going through it. It's just one of those things that you can't feel/think about until it is going to happen to you.
So like I said, now and then, I'll have the Pre-op nerves. But I know everything's gonna be alright. I mean I've been through this before. I was just much younger. It's different when you don't know what's happening to you. I didn't even know I underwent surgery till weeks after. I didn't know I was put under anesthesia either. But this time I know everything. I can do this.
I'm glad I watched the surgery. It was hard to sit through and I was cringing throughout but I'm glad I sat through it. At least I know what's going to happen and my imagination can't run wild on me. I'm not worried about the surgery.. Not much anyway. I'm more concerned about how I'll feel when I wake up after. Will the vomiting sensation be really strong? How much pain will I be in? Guess I'll find out soon huh?
As I was tying this, I turned to my knee, gave it a loving, reassuring tap and told it that everything was going to be alright. Because today is all about it! Haha!
So I better go now, I need to get some sleep before its morning and we have to get to the hospital. Hope the food will be good there!
Before I go, I just wanted to thanks all the wonderful people that have shown care and concern in their own little ways Many of them were so random and unexpected! Like there was this one guy who texted me asking if he could prey for my knee! I was a little puzzled because we're not that close but it was touching indeed! Now if he'd just get around to making those name cards, he'd be awesome :).
I can't wait for the surgery to end. I'll keep you posted!
Meanwhile, stay hungry, stay curious and push on!!!
P.S. this is a new X-ray I took recently. It shows that the bone fragment has shifted to another position! That little thing sticking out in the middle, yeah that's it!
No comments:
Post a Comment