The quiet after the storm is just the quiet before another one...

So it's been a while since I've blogged proper. Truth is, the last few times I poured my heart out onto a blog post, it somehow got wiped away because I didn't save it. After that you just don't have the heart to re-write it so you just don't bother posting anything.

First and foremost, INTRUDER ALERT!!!! Haha! So my friend found my blog... I was so confident she wouldn't be able to, but I guess I underestimated her stalker abilities and over estimated my "encryption". Haha congrats to her, I'm going to be a pint of ice cream poorer. Haha!

On a sadder note, let me talk about stupid spur of the moment I-did-not-think-this-through mistakes/moments. Everyone has them, everyone regrets them. However, when your relationship with someone you're close to happens to be on the line, it hurts that much more.

Lets say for example, you cheat on your partner. The amount of pain and trauma you cause them is just immeasurable and unforgivable. You'd feel really bad for hurting them so bad and would do anything to make it better/for them to forgive you. Sad truth is, nothing will ever be enough. Now imagine the same scenario, only you have major trust issues and paranoia. You've been hurt the same way before and have a zero tolerance for cheering. But for some reason, you're the one who cheated on your partner. That's just a whole new level of fucked-up. To the one that got cheated on, you have every right to be angry. To the hypocrite who cheated. Shame on you, you'll probably never be able to forgive yourself and that's exactly what you deserve. You need to move on and rebuild yourself. Again.

This blog of mine has always been filled with random-ass posts an this is no exception.

"The quiet after the storm is just the quiet before another one." - A new, untrained shadow hunting author

This quote pretty much sums my present and my immediate past and future.

Life is just one lesson after another, I look back at my life so far at a glance and I'm bemused by how I got here. Looking back at all the lessons I've learnt, the easy way and the hard way, everything I've gained and everything I've lost. It just feel so confusing right now. It's like you're wandering in the jungle and suddenly you're lost because you don't know which direction you're heading in. There are definitely things Ive done that I'm proud of -- ok here's where I stop making sense.

I realized that every time I'm stressed, sad or worried I sigh out loud. I've also realized after talking to some people that I'm too much of an open book. But I guess that's just the trade off between full disclosure and --

here I go again, not making any sense. I'm off now. To practice some drums, the one thing I can say for sure I'm passionate about. Hopefully I'll be back here soon. Hopefully writing about happier days. Although at this point, I highly doubt it.

Till then, stay hungry, stay curious and push on!