Theme of the week: Surreal

There are a few things I have always prided myself on. It's not really a big deal but I always felt good knowing that these few things had never happened to me. Fainting, nose bleeds, fractures, getting wasted, etc. When one of these things happen to you, it's and interesting experience. At least this one was, from my point of view.

I almost fainted.

I still remember everything so vividly and I don't think I'll ever forget. No one ever forgets their first. I think. I stood up and a few seconds later, I started feeling giddy. My hearing gradually left me. It was strange. The sound just kept getting damper and damper until it shut off completely. Then my vision started to leave me. I watched as it gradually got darker and darker and before I knew it, I couldn't see. I started taking deep breaths and my first aid training kept running through my mind.

"Hello! Hello! Are you ok?"

Recovery position, calling for an ambulance. I could feel my body going limp and I wanted to fall. My body was telling me it wanted to lie down. But I wouldn't have it. I held on the the railing behind me for support, injured knee and all. I told my friend I was blanking out and that I needed water. When she asked me what was wrong, I smiled and said "low blood pressure, I need water" my mind was still running and I remember I kept thinking "oh my god, I'm fainting, I cannot faint, must hold on, must stay standing, this is so cool, but I feel so helpless. Why can't I restart my body why..."

The next thing I remember is my friend telling me to hold on and not let go no matter what.

After that, I remember feeling the rim of the bottle on my lips and "drink up".

I regained full control of all my faculties before I was even through with the bottle.

The best part, it wasn't even a close friend of mine, it was no one I had expected to be there for me in my time of need. It was no one I was close to.

I can't help but feel a sense of eternal gratitude to both the people who helped me.

Every time I think about it, I can't help but wonder how amazing the human body is. I still remember the girl telling me later on " I am very impressed by the way you held on... That was sheer will."

I can't stop playing it back over and over in my head. Going through the motions of how it all went down. I wonder what would have happened it they weren't there to help me. If I had let go after some time and collapsed on the ground. I wonder how things would have turned out. Would that have been my last day? I don't know but I'm glad it wasn't.

Lots of other things happened this week, recovering from the sickness from hell, orientation dry run, first aid training, clubbing (to celebrate my recovery.. Haha thank god I didn't push my self too much), injuring my knee in the club and the aftermath of swellings and pain killers that followed. It's funny how you come out of something only to go into something else, know what I mean? There's a proverb that goes something like "you fall from the sky only to fall on cacti" haha how retarded and yet, so apt. Every time I think about how it happened, I can't help but smile a little. Like you stay sober only to have a drunk douche hit you in the knee. Thanks allot, great job bro!

This week, it also dawned on me that pointing things out and/ or talking about it actually means you care. You know what? I do care! But the feeling escapes me and it's fading fast...

There is allot of truth in the saying that whatever happens, happens for good and/or for a reason. I feel like coming out of what I did at the beginning of this term really opened my eyes to allot of things. I started to observe more, see more and feel more. Like I've said, I've never felt more alive.

Sometimes, I think about how I was before, why I did the things I did and what that meant. I need to do the same for now but I'm still processing the past and taking many lessons and insights from them as I do. I observe the people around me and see things I never saw before. Things that were right there in front of me all along. I feel like I have ALOT of thinking to do and that I might want to write some of them down. But where does one pen down their most sacred and secret thoughts? Thoughts that are meant for no one else to see. A physical diary that might be found someday? An unlisted and private blog that might someday get hacked and compromised? On my laptop, again with the hacking issue? Wow, another thing I need to think about. All I know is, shit just got real.

Parting thoughts:
- When one door closes, many more open.
- Luck is when opportunity meets preparedness.
- There are plenty more fish in the sea.


That's all I am going to say about that... Goodbye.

Until next time, stay hungry, stay curious and limp on! :D